We won't sleep together?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize