I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
