Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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