Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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