Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize