I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
