I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
