So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
