You're a womanizer and a bitch.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize