I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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