I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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