Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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