Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
wow bdsm is so cute
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
