So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
