My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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