I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
