Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
