Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize