i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
