She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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