he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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