this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
