I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
