love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
