He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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