Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
