I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I love black thongs
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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