But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
