I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
