you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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