i think i have herpe
just one?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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