1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
