I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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