So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize