So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
