is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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