She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
