I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
