dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
