I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
