my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
