he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
