dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
