Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
