it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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