Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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