I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
