I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
