your parents love me but you hate me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
