I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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