wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
