I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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