Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.

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(937): View more from Ohio

You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....

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(913): View more from Kansas

No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.

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(314): View more from Missouri

apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out

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(913): View more from Kansas

Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.

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