Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
