Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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