Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
