i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
