he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you win again, gameday.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
