You're my little dorito
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
