"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
