he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
