We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
did i walk over a car last night?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
